Regrets

Before Christmas last year I lost my Dad, he was 2 months away from his 90th bithday. I thought I would have lots of time to visit with my Dad, to ask him questions about his youth. I was a 'bag' and impatient with him during his last couple of years on earth. I am embarassed to admit that but there were times when I avoided to talk with Dad. He became very negative in his last year of life and his outlook on life took on that of the 'victim' role. Instead of seeing that this was his way of telling me he was unhappy and not feeling well I just complained about having to stay in touch regularly.

This morning I watched the latest episode of This is Us where Randell takes William to Memphis and on this visit William succumbs to cancer. Randell and William have an opportunity to say their good-byes. This was something I was denied because my Dad died in his sleep. I hope Dad knows that I did love him and that I was proud to be his daughter. 

During my sixty years on earth I have heard the message (many times) to make times for your loved ones, to tell people you love them and to have the important talks becuase you never know what tomorrow will bring. So hopefully someone who is not as stupid as I am, will read this and have the important talk and tell the people in your life that you love them. 

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Comments (1)

  1. GoldenPig2012

    First of all, you aren’t stupid, you’re human. It IS hard, as a child, to deal with parents or grandparents who aren’t who they always for us all our lives. We all deal with it differently. Some dive right in and take care of everything, some back away, some do the hit and miss type of dealing with them. It’s HARD.

    I lost my parents long ago and suddenly. But, I was there for my grandparents and I felt the same things you felt and more and less.

    Like you, I saw last night’s episode of “This Is Us” and I thought of my parents and grandparents. I had a lot of “I wish…..” thoughts in my mind, too. But, don’t ever think your dad thought for one minute you didn’t love him or that he wasn’t already proud of you. You’re 60, you know parents love their children, no matter what.

    I was blessed, lucky to have a parent who taught me it was “normal” to say I love you and, more importantly, WHY I do. It wasn’t until was grown and she was gone did I realize that isn’t how everyone is taught. But, even if you never say it, it’s there, it exists and parents know it.

    February 22, 2017